Thankfulness (cont'd)

nd not be bothered.

I found a treadmill, hit the quick start button, kicked up the resistance, pushed my limit with the speed and angrily pounded the rubber mat going absolutely nowhere as fast as I possibly could. I had my earphones on but was surrounded by four TVs with closed captions scrolling across the bottom of the screens. After a few minutes of blowing off steam, I glanced up at one of the televisions. It was set on CNN and there was an interview of an earthquake victim in Pakistan. A woman, speaking through an interpreter, was probably my age but looked much older. She was holding a small boy only slightly larger than my child. His eyes were swollen shut and crusted over with infection. I slowed my pace and observed. The woman was explaining that there was no medication for her son because there were others who needed it more. If her child did not get medicine soon, he would go blind. Neither child nor mother was crying. They were calm as if they had accepted their fate and felt fortunate to be alive. I continued to watch as the camera panned to their house. A shack of thin wood and scrap metal was located in front of a snow-covered hillside.

I then realized where I was. I was in a state-of-the-art YMCA surrounded by the hum of fitness machines, watching one of four televisions, listening to my iPod and wearing a new pair of running shoes while my supportive husband was in our comfortable heated home caring for our healthy baby.

I still have insanely frustrating days where, as a mother of two, I can do nothing right. But everyday I am getting better at letting those moments come and go. I practice being open to new people and new ideas. I try to remain calm and flexible when things don’t go as I think they should. When I’d rather be doing anything in the world but childcare, I think about how much I have and my self-pity turns to thankfulness. I still need time for myself and I continue to find stress relief in running, but my YMCA, iPod, and Asics really don’t mean as much to me anymore.

Grace spent ten years working with young people with developmental disabilities before becoming an at-home-mom. She enjoys sports, outdoors, reading, writing and history. You can email Grace at: write2graceh@gmail.com